Grief & Grieving

Ask the Community
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Dearest friends and community,

I wonder if you have any rituals, magickal means or plant, animal, other nature-based wisdoms to help with the grieving process?

Is there anything you have done or encounters that you have experienced that have helped you? Or have you helped others with their own wild grief?

With love and thanks and blessings with the rain dragons,

Iris :green_heart::cyclone::dragon:

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Not sure if it helps but when I lost a friend a few years ago, I got one of her favorite plants (pilea) and grieved with that. It definitely helped taking care of it and it made me think of her every time I looked at it.

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How sweet…it sounds as though that helped you a lot. And I am sure your friend appreciated that, wherever she was/is now!

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Without knowing your circumstances, it’s difficult to give any tips… although if you aren’t comfortable about disclosing something so personal, that’s perfectly understandable. I am only asking because I wonder if it is a bereavement, or a separation/divorce, or else…? In any case the advice would vary…
And is it a friend, or a partner, or an older relative, or else?
I wonder (whatever the circumstances ) if you meditate, or dance, or keep a private journal, or walk in Nature, or have a favourite animal or pet?

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I have made two spirit bottles in the last five years. When my father died, I put in a small bottle, significant and symbolic trinkets and herbs. I filled it up with his favourite red wine and sealed the top with wax and a small chess piece. I hold it from time to time when I want to talk to him, when I need him. Its a good focus having something to hold that is small enough to carry with you.
Last year my best friend passed and I made another bottle with all the symbols and herbs and oils that reminded me of her. It has helped me in the same way as my father’s bottle.
I am sure I am amongst many who have suffered great losses and we know that grief cannot be side-stepped or sped up. For me grief is just something that I have to make peace with, accepting that my loved ones are not in my world, but my love for them remains. Making the spirit bottles was a ritual for me, and using them as a focus when I am missing my loved ones, well it just helps me.

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What a beautiful thing to do, at the moment I am looking after my very old dog. He has been my sole companion since he was 7 ½ weeks old and he is almost 19 years old.
I know that he will cross the rainbow :rainbow: Bridge at some time, but I don’t know how to keep going when that time comes.

I plan on having him cremated and a friend who does tattoos has offered to put some of his ashes in the ink and do a personalised tattoo for me. I really love the idea of having a little bottle or something with things that remind me of him as well. He loves lavender :dog2:🪻:purple_heart: right from when he was a tiny little pup he will roll in it and push his little body into the flowers, :honeybee: the bee’s that are often on it doesn’t bother him, it’s almost like they have an agreement that both can enjoy the flowers together…
I will start to find things to put in the bottle/box, thank you for sharing your idea and letting us know how it has helped you at such a delicate time…
Blessed be :woman_farmer:t2: :dog2: :people_hugging: 🪻 :butterfly: :sparkles:

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How very beautiful…thank you for that :heartpulse:

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Oh Mikaiya, my heart goes out to you. I have lost two dog companions and they really are a piece of your soul arent they? How wonderful to have such a lovely scent as lavender to remind you of him. Neither of my hounds had such fragrant scents :slight_smile: There was one thing I did almost by accident with my last lost boy. I placed his collar in the crook of a young tree in my brother’s garden where he was happiest. Guess what? The tree grew around the collar. Its so lovely to see nature claim him.
Much love in this sad time for you x

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Hey Iris - sorry for the late reply on this one, but I have a little experience with this recently I hope might help.

I lost my grandmother in January, and it was so hard. She was my best friend, and we were very close with each other. I still miss her to this day. But, in the 6-7 months since her passing, what I can say is the grief really doesn’t go away, but the space around it gets bigger.

The things that helped me the most are as follows:

  1. she is always with me. always. and I can talk to her any time and I know she listens.
  2. directly after her passing, that evening, I held a divination for myself and invited her to communicate through the cards; and she did. She wasn’t a witchy type person (on the contrary, she was Lutheran through and through), however, I explained to her that tarot is just a tool of communication, and that it was nothing to be fearful of. maybe having a sort of divination with your grief or something to that effect will help to bridge a gap.
  3. I paid attention to the things around me that she interacted with the most. For example, the flowers at her house started to grow and bloom in January…which was odd, but I knew it was her. And it was only specific flowers like her orchids and one yellow rose. I also paid attention to how things via music were coming across (because my grandma was a pianist, and had a large range of music genres she enjoyed listening too as well). Just little things in the environment can be serendipitous or purposeful, and then looking up the meanings or paying attention to how you feel in the moment can say a lot as well.
  4. keeping items of personal use close by or wearing them (do this cautiously, depending on the situation). since I was close with my grandma, and we would share things often, I didn’t feel odd wearing or using her personal items (like perfume, jewelry, and some clothing items). For me, it was a sense of having her always with me and having that tangible piece of protection or comfort.
  5. finally, I got her writing from a birthday card tattooed on me (again, do this cautiously depending on the situation, or if you are ok with tattoos since not everyone is). It just is a sentimental thing, again, as a tribute to her and the relationship we shared.

I hope these help. I know each circumstance is different, and whatever you are going through, I hope it gets softer and easier for you. Grief is hard, but with time it develops a cushion. Even still, grief is the proof that love existed - and on the other hand, grief can also be the love for oneself in times of difficulty and survival; it doesn’t have to be the love between two people, it can be self love too.

hugs it will be ok

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