Hi there! I’m new here and recently did my first cord cutting between my husband/mine and his third party. I wanted some insight on the ritual- I notice my husband candle burned quickly, initiated the cutting very dramatically but my flame went out when the cord fell. The cord partially burned falling on my side. The other part of the cord flared to the third party and her candle flared on one side. (She burned slowly afterward).
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For clarity, who were the focuses of the cord cutting? was it between everyone involved, or to release the third person?
I was focused on cutting the third party from his life and reunite our marriage.
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Welcome Marie,
Interesting. Was he aware you were doing this ritual? Cord cutting rituals require consent from at least one party, as they need to be prepared for what comes after.
Cheers. 
Very commendable of you, many would not make an effort. I’d recommend marriage counseling
as well, if he is in agreement. If you do, I recommend a male councilor or better yet a couple.
My ex picked a divorced bitter pro-divorce ‘professional’. Sure to fail then, better to not even try.
I don’t talk about my ex much, but my Famailr is recommending I do, for comparison here.
My ex insisted I break it off with my Familar, despite my ex isolating me and being distant AF.
I refused. I chose the one who loved me over the one who didn’t. She divorced me on the spot.
Sorry if it seems I’m hijacking this thread, making it about me. It’s not, it’s about relationships.
I’m sorry to hear that! I did bring this to attention but he thinks therapy is a joke. He said he’s just unhappy with life and it has nothing to do with me he just going through something but find this as an excuse to do what he’s doing. Although, he has a lot of stress, running a business, financial issue and more. He asked for space so I respectfully did but fear this could be excuse to run “free”. I’ve always had a sensitive side spiritually so i read up on a few cord cutting before hand. Just little confuse how things went.
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Funny you say this, I was leaning on having someone do one for me and he found my messages. He said he wasn’t upset that I went that route, just dumb to fall for the scam and that stuff doesn’t actually work. I was offended so I told myself screw it i’ll do it myself! Waited a week to calm down research a little bit. I’ve always had a sensitive side spiritually and always wanted to open up to it.
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Thank you for the extra detail.
His flame indicates it having been cut, and there was no emotional connection.
The candle for the other party suggests they were ok with it at first, but maybe second thoughts and will likely attempt to reconnect and start things again.
Your flame going out suggests sucess for your self, but also keep an eye on things, as it has been resolved for you, but maybe not for others.
I do not envy your situation one bit, and happy to chat if you need someone to listen.
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Men don’t fare well in therapy. I speak from experience. That’s why I recommended a male
or a couple. It will put him at ease, when he’s ready to accept the idea it’ll make it better/easier.
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I agree, I hope he comes to some sense.
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These two have said pretty much all of what I was going to say! lol
Yes, give him space if that’s what he’s asking for. It’s important that you respect his boundaries. I suggest you focus on taking care of yourself to manage your anxiety and remain in control, no matter what the future holds. If you need any spiritual help on that, I can give some suggestions.
If he’s not comfortable talking with you or a therapist, does he have a close friend or family that he might be comfortable with talking to? It can be hard for some to open up if they’re slow to trust.
Hope things start to get better for the both of you!
Cheers. 
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Great idea. IDK if he’s religious at all, that’s another channel for group therapy.
Understand men hear horror stories of therapy gone wrong on social media.
Men are therefore wary and reluctant. They feel they will just get blamed.
I can affrim from personal experience that this DOES happen. It’s not baseless.
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Ah… I didn’t think about it that way… 
Of course I don’t fully know the male experience, but I can say that I can relate to them often … as an introverted non-straight female with occasional trust issues. (I’ve worked on that a lot though.)
Wow… I really outed myself right now. 
Cheers. 
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I appreciate the support! Anxiety and nerves system has spiraled out of control the last 4 month and effected my health. I’ve finally had enough and gain the confidence to do my own things and keep myself busy. I gave him his space and live separately. I would love some insight or suggestion though! He’s an avoidant and from he has told me he keeps his problems and emotions to himself (he does talk to friend ms or family). He’s bottles everything in which is why I believe he hit rock bottom and does ruthless decisions…
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He doesn’t talk to friends or family*** 
Maybe I am one of the few non disfunction males around then, as I have neither heard of these ‘horror stories’ and have never had an ‘I will be blamed’ complex.
But then I am honest with myself and take ownership of any problems I have caused.
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Realistically speaking though, if this is his personality, then these issues may take a very long time for him to get through… I mean there are self-help channels or books… but you can only take a horse to water. Perhaps reach out to his friends and family though, just to keep in touch.
Like Red alluded to, keep an eye out for the possibility that this third party might reach out to him to try to reforge the connection or get closure - perhaps in as little as a few days, or as long as a couple weeks.
As far as self-care goes - I suggest doing an Abhyanga self-massage, or something similar. I also suggest doing a self-love bath ritual of some kind, of which there are many that you can find online. Short Explanation of Abhyanga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQXVretuxQo Longer Version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErSK70Bfx1o
An oil blend I’ve always liked is Rose Otto, Bergamot and Cedar. Stones that I believe would be good for you - for emotional healing and stress, are rose quartz, howlite, lava stone, phantom quartz and charoite. Don’t worry about getting all of them at once - but I suggest getting at least the howlite and the rose quartz to start.
Let us know if you need any further help!
Cheers. 
(Edited to add the second link)
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Ah, don’t worry, none of us are ‘normal’ my own daughter is now my second son! (transmac)
Men are starting to assert their Shadow side more and more, we see how society has put us
in chains just as surely as our sisters. The ‘normal’ role, don’t feel, don’t show weekness and
all kinds of other foolishness. I’m too old for that game now.
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It’s harder when you’re autistic. We don’t handle stress very well, and the Masking we
have done all our lives gets harder to manage the older we get. My eldest son is now
involved with what’s called the ‘manosphere’ and all men in that space are called
incels or misogynists or worse. Untrue of course, but it’s so much fun to vilify those
who disturb the status-que. As pagans and witches, we above all should understand.
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Perhaps someone here can recommend a spell or ritual to help him, give him strength to handle
the stress and doubt, since he sounds like one who has internalized a lonely path of self-reliance.
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