How to ask my parents for help with buying a car when they spend money on alcohol instead?

[ezojimi]

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out because I’m really struggling with something and would appreciate your advice and wisdom.

I’m their only son and I’m trying hard to build my career right now. Having a car (or at least help with financing one) would make a huge difference for me — it’s becoming a serious obstacle in my current situation.

My parents have the financial means to help me, but instead they spend their money on alcohol and other things. I feel frustrated and sad about it. On one hand I know it’s their money, on the other hand their support right now could really change things for me.

Does anyone have experience with this kind of family situation? How can I approach them about this in a respectful but honest way, without sounding entitled or ungrateful? I want to express how much it would help me at this important stage of my life.

Any practical, emotional, or magical advice is very welcome.

Thank you so much.

[Sedim_Haba]

This is the first time ezojimi has posted — let’s welcome them to our community!

Welcome to the forum!

As a parent of adult children, and without knowing your relationship with them, this is what I think:

As an only son, remind them that it will fall on you to take care of them in their old age.

IDK if you have any sisters, or if they have other family, but this is the case for most.

Tell them that you need them to invest in your future, for their own sakes.

This is a loan that will be paid back with interest. The later you begin your career,

the less you will be able to help them later in life. It’s not a gift, but a smart Investment.

[Lady-Gene]

Fantastic Friday Ezo,

Well, as someone with experience with alcoholics and disagreeable parents, this is my advice.

Don’t count on them. You will have to do it all on your own. Yes, I do know, I left home at 14 and have been on my own since. Yes, I know how hard it will be. I do not know your situation, but with mine, I had to sever all ties with the family and I actually am feeling MUCH, MUCH better and it’s been over 20 years.

Back to topic, I must disagree whole-heartedly with Sedim. “Reminding” them that you will have to care for them in their old age WILL NOT WORK!!! Do not start with a guilt trip, it WILL backfire. Do not bring up how they spend their money. Remember it IS their money to spend how they see fit.
I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but you are going to have to give up on the “dream” of them being able to help you out.

So sorry, honey. I do not know your whole situation, but it is workable…one way or another.

(Personal note, I was 24, 2 kids, and had to take 2 buses, over 5 miles just to get to work, thank the goddesses that I lived a block from the grocery, so I was able to shop fairly easily)

So, look to your higher self, do some meditation/visualization, and discover where you should be taking your next step.

It seems as though you will not have “help” from the parents, but it’s not the end of the world, yet.

Lady Gene

[WrenTalbot]

It’s hard for me to give advice on this, as I personally had to deal with one extremely unsupportive parent when I was a teen, and the one who was supportive, didn’t have the money to support me fully, so I also had to open many doors on my own. And I am also an only-child!

I’m going to kind of echo Lady-Gene here and say that if they refuse to help you, you’re going to have to learn how to be your own parent… recognize that they’re adults, but so are you - you can’t force them to do anything (and I wouldn’t recommend trying to do any spell to that effect), but you can focus on manifesting positive things to start happening for you.

Road-opening, unblocking, and similar spells may be useful. Meditate, tune them out if you have to - they’ve chosen their lot in life, and the best you can do is be the best example for yourself.

You can’t keep expecting someone to support you when they won’t. You can try to make your intentions known, but ultimately their response won’t matter in the long run. You have to make that commitment to yourself to move forward!

Hope that in any way helps! You have my support, for whatever that’s worth!