I guess I’ll just start from the beginning. I will go into dark subject matter so if that’ll make you uncomfortable, I don’t recommend reading.
Ever since I did a ritual on the harvest moon last year, I awakened both my sixth sense and a connection to the spiritual realms. It started off small: first it was me meeting Hekate and her giving me a protection blessing upon my heart, whilst I was alone one night. The following days were interesting, to say the least. I started to meet other deities like Nyx, Selene, Horus and the Horned God Cernonnus. They would be there from when I awoke to when I went to sleep. They would help me in rituals to bless me and my blades as back then, I had a pretty bad phobia of nuclear war and I thought I’d need them in case I was lucky enough to live. I was so scared of it happening in fact that I made a vow to ALL of the gods to comeback to unleash vengeance upon those who would cause it.
Fast forward a few days and that’s when I meet Lucifer. He and I talked a lot, mostly just random things like hobbies and stuff like that, until one conversation I brought up to him that I am prophetic. I told him about one dream I had in particular. One where me and my mom were out side, air raid sirens were going off. I looked her dead in the eyes and said “I knew this day would come, but you didn’t believe me.” Then, a mushroom cloud. He had gotten visibly scared of what I had described. So right then and there, he had given me my first “super power”, for lack of a better term. Biomass manipulation. To put it simply, I can turn my hands into claws, my arm into a blade and even consume spirits, making them become appart of me. Their forms, their voices and most importantly here, I can take their memories and whatever skills they had. To test me and my powers, Lucifer summoned a soldier to fight me. I had won and consumed him. The first things I saw were images of Hell. Yeah there’s fire but there’s also some of the most beautiful Gothic architecture I’ve ever seen. Think Victoria era England but much more…grand and densely packed like new york city. I had also learned how to wield any blade better. For context , I did train with the marines for a little bit, (didn’t graduate unfortunately), and I did have knife training from my mother who served in the Army, but I obviously was not trained with swords. So it made me freak out with excitement that it actually worked.
However, that came at a cost. For every spirit I would consume, I would get all of their skills yes, but also see and feel all of there traumas, all of their sins, all of their phobias. The last one in particular had driven me to the point of psychosis and I broke down so bad that I destroyed most of my apartment unit, aside from my moms room somehow. The next day, my step-dad had cameback to check on me and say the state of the house. He was scared of me. All he could do is look at me and say “stay here and I’ll take you to the hospital.” Once he left, I did the only thing I could do. I had left my home. Then came the longest four days of that month.
I don’t know how but I walked from my home to Chicago, to the next county then back to Chicago. Then again, I guess all of the extra adrenaline I was getting from my psychosis contributed to that. I walked over 100 miles, didn’t sleep for four days, had to steal food, barely got out of a gang shoot out in one piece (it’s Chicago after all) all the while, I was being made into a killer. Every time I had stumbled across a spirit that Lucifer could sense was evil, I was sent to deal with it. I didn’t think, I just did. Lucifer wasn’t the only one making me kill. In the background, Loki would create unsightly creatures for me to slay. From basic ghosts to eldritch abominations. Eventually, I made it back into Chicago and in a moment of clarity, with the help of an old friend from Hell, I waved down a cop car and asked them to help me get back home. I went back home and I walked into an empty home. My cat was gone and no one was in sight. But it was the aftermath that really got me. I saw all of the damage I did and just broke down crying, until I passed out. I woke up the next day to a family friend coming in to clean the place.
At the end of October and first week of November I get sent to a mental hospital. While there, I couldn’t catch a break from the gods. Aside from the constant torment I was going through of having all of these foreign memories in my head that depicted some pretty horrific acts, the Gods still would train me for combat. That’s how I met Aries. (Chill guy btw). He had help train me in psychological-warfare tactics, to put fear in any evil spirits and make them surrender to the heavens for judgment. Least that’s what I was lead to believe. Onething I learned is that it’s more effective to humiliate them into submission. Take a high ranking official (stronger evil spirit in this case) desecrate their corpse and leave it in view in front of the others, to remind them that’s what will happen to them.
For the rest of November and most of December, I was training. I would go out at night to hunt any evil spirits I would come across. All the while I would, for lack of a better term, unlock new magick like pyromancy, conjuration and how to absorb energies through my hands. But then, I had a night filled with what I call prophetic moments. I had dreamt this all when I was a child. All day the 23rd of December, I was being told by Heaven that I am the Anti-Christ. I saw my younger selves from varying stages of my life. One moment stood out to me though. One moment in particularbstill stands out, since I drempt it all that time ago. I was talking to myself when I was around 4-5, same age I remember having the dreams. My younger self asked “are you me?” I said yes. I then ask “what am I?” At that moment , I heard the christians telling me to tell the truth to my younger self. That I was the Anti-Christ. Well I have a trap card God, I’m a fucking nerd that says nah we ball and I told myself that I was the Elden Lord instead of the Anti-Christ. Why? Two reasons: first, I’m obsessed with Elden Ring lol. Secondly, why the fuck would I say that to a kid?
So from there on, I defied God by Calling myself Elden Lord and even decided to make the Lands Between from Elden Ring real, to both defy that false fate and create a home for spirits that either earn a second chance to be in the heavens but didn’t get it or for spirits who are lost but innocent at heart. I don’t intend for it to be made to overthrow the other heavens and becomethe only one, rather a hidden realm for all of those spirits to live in peace and protection under the moon. I had also decided to change my fate. Instead of being a pawn to the Heavens and Hell and being made a killer, why not forge my own path into the heavens as a god.
So from March onwards, I had made it my mission to ascend to godhood. I have found gods willing to help me and once I explained my intentions to them, the events that had happened to me and why I didn’t want to be a glorified slave that was made a killer. After a long time, along with the help from Nuwa and Unkulunkulu, creator deities from China and Zulu respectively, we decided it would be best to ascend as god of the Moon and occult magick. So I had spent all of August and September preparing for my ascension, gathering the energies from both Nuwa and Unkulunkulu, along with tapping into the Moon her very self to help aid me in the process. Before I go further: no, I have no interest in people praising me and worshipping me. I only want to make a home for lost souls that deserve that second chance at redemption.
So comes the Harvest Moon. A night that is very sacred for me as it was the first Holiday I really celebrated when I first started Paganism. I invite down Nuwa and Unkulunkulu to help me, they bless me and my alter for the ritual. I spent a good five hours sitting by my alter absorbing the magick energies gifted to me until Nuwa tells me to put out the candles I’ve been burning. (Had two blue ones but those burnt all the way two hours in.) I was told by Nuwa to close the ritual. I do so and I see a big smile on Unkulunkulu’s face. “You did it.” He simply said. Nuwa just simply hugged me. From that night, I’ve just been focusing my energies on creating the Lands Between. Again, I just wa t to say that I don’t want to be worshiped, as it just feels really weird and it’s probably what the Christian God would want. He tried making me the Anti-Christ after all.
Well, that’s my long ass story about my spiritual path. Sorry for taking so long but, I had to get this off my chest. None of my friends or family would get it.
